Question by Shakil K
Want to hear some HILARIOUS JOKES…?
I have one of the funniest jokes you will hear!
Divorced Barbie——
A man was driving home on his daughter’s birthday, and realized that he had not gotten her a gift. He drove to the mall and ran inside to the cashier, asking ,”How much is that barbie in the window?” The cashier replied, “Which one? We have Barbie goes to the Ball’ for $ 19.95,Barbie goes shopping for $ 19.95 ,Barbie goes to the beach for $ 19.95, Barbie goes to the Nightclub for $ 19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $ 375.00.” The dad asked ,”Why is Divorced Barbie so much money?”. The cashier relplied,”That is because she comes with Ken’s car, dog, house,boat, cat, and furniture.”
Alexis And Bo’s Anniversary—-
On Alexis and Bo’s anniversary, they decided to go to a drive-in movie. Leaning over on Bo’s shoulder feeling romantic, she asked him ,”Will you still love me if my hair turned gray?”
Bo said ,”Why not? I still loveed you through the four other shades.”
Bad Kids—-
A mother saw her two sons fighting over a pizza slice. Applaued, she said, “You two shoyld be more like Jesus. He would have given his brother the last piece. The older brother said to the sibling , “Okay, you be Jesus.”
If you like these, star this question and leave an answer with other jokes or comments.
These are supposed to be clean, by the way.
That’s cute.
can I have ten points.
I starred your question.?
(;
ya sorry but i didn’t find those to be funny. they were so lame.
Golden oldies, but still laughable, lol, have a star…!
I like the Barbie one!
I starred your question
nice jokes
-meg
great. you’ve been starred!
funny.
Susan goes to see the doctor about getting a facelift. “OK,” says the doctor. “I can do the facelift but you´ll have to come back again in 6 months for a follow-up. ”Oh no,” says Susan, “I want it done all at once without having to come back!”
The doctor thinks for a moment and says, “We do have a new procedure that doesn’t require your coming back”. “What is it,” she asks. “Well,” says the doctor, “We insert a small screw into the top of your head. Then anytime you see wrinkles appear, you give it a small turn and the wrinkles disappear.” “Wonderful,” says Susan. “Let´s do that”!
Six months later, Susan comes charging into the doctor´s office. ”How´s the procedure working? “ says the doctor. “Terrible,” yells Susan. “It´s the biggest mistake I ever made! Just look at these bags under my eyes!”
“Susan” the doctor answers “Those aren´t bags! They´re your breasts! and if you don´t stop turning that screw, you´re going to have a beard!”
they werent funny you need to sharpen up, ps they have been put on this website to many times these are just old!
i like the last one the most, the other two are just alright.
The Pastor’s Ass
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he
entered it in the race again, and it won again.
The local paper read: PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he
ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another
race.
The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES
PASTOR’S ASS.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to
get rid of the donkey.
The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted
the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The bishop fainted.
He informed the nun that she would have to
get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $ 10.
The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $ 10.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun
to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it
could run wild.
The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD
AND FREE.
The bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about
public opinion can bring you much grief and misery. . .
even shorten your life.
So be yourself and enjoy life.
Stop worrying about everyone else’s ass and
you’ll be a lot happier and live longer!
Have a nice day!
funny jokes….. loved it …..gave me a good laugh
…..good job…..keep up the good jokes